


flower patch

by dreamults



Series: the sun & the flowers [1]
Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Injury, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Mentioned SR15G, Na Jaemin-centric, OT7, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 06:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16213637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamults/pseuds/dreamults
Summary: most days, jaemin finds himself happy- content. like, when he watches all the support and love his group are receiving. when he gets to watch the new dream music videos before anyone else (but that’s only because the managers all have a not-so-secret soft spot for him). when he, after months of no talk, texts his groupmates a ‘well done’ and ‘congratulations’ and they text back almost a second later. when he gets to see his family win awards and soar higher than any star.(most days, he pretends it doesn’t hurt as much as it does.)





	flower patch

jaemin is fourteen when he is scouted.

 

they approach him in the midst of his voluntary work placement. him, with his ripped jeans and oversized hoodie, standing outside of a café three blocks away from his volunteer work. him, with a receipt pressed against his lips and coffee in his hands. him, who stares at the older, finely dressed man who holds nothing but a small white card in his hands, slipping it in the younger boy's fingers before letting his coworker, a lady this time, speak.

 

they ask him if he wants to be an idol and he ponders on the thought. he's still a kid, he thinks. becoming an idol means leaving behind all he's ever known- his friends, his parents, his studies, his chance of speed-skating professionally. but then he thinks. of all the lost hours he's spent in the small dance studio only a few minutes away from his home. he thinks of the times he gets lost in the lyrics and rhythm of his favourite songs. he thinks about how little his problems seem when the flow of music runs through his veins.

 

and, he thinks- just for a minute- he might give it a chance.

 

* * *

 

three weeks later, he auditions and signs the contract that ultimately controls the next few years of his life.

 

he shares a dorm room with four other boys- one older, two the same age and one younger. mark is the eldest of them, fifteen and originally from vancouver, canada. the other boys and a few older trainees call him a pro-trainee- because he's so good at everything, they say, and jaemin finds himself admiring mark the most.

 

the next two are jeno and donghyuck, who, though being the same age, are a few months older than jaemin himself. jeno is the eldest of the trio, a soft, small boy with eyes that shape themselves into crescent moons when he smiles. his voice is soft and he often speaks the most when he's around doyoung, one of the elder trainees. donghyuck is anything but soft spoken- he's loud and quite boisterous, always coming up with new ways to make them laugh. he bounces where he stands and his eyes radiate with the warmth of the sun.

 

jisung- their little baby chick- is twelve.  _twelve_. he's small and soft and his doe eyes always  _always_  makes jaemin melt. jaemin often denies it but he'll always love jisung a tiny bit more than any of the other trainees, because he's so young and he still has baby fat and, god, he's so  _so_  innocent.

 

jaemin thinks that maybe one day he'll be able to perform with these guys, these friends he's made- dreams of standing on stage with an award held in his hand, standing under the spotlight that glows upon them, refracting into something like happiness and pride.

 

* * *

 

a few months later, jaemin is standing in front of dozens of cameras. the camera crew in front of them remain stoic as they go through the plan for today’s shooting.

 

beside him, jeno clutches his hand tightly.

 

“i can’t believe this.” jaemin hears the older mutter under his breath and he hums in return. “we’re gonna be on tv, nana.”

 

jaemin smiles softly, watching as jisung pinches himself discreetly- watching as lami nervously shuffles where she stands, hands clutching the edge of her skirt. koeun and herin are fixing each other’s hair, neatening the strands and adjusting their bangs, donghyuck agitating them by playfully ruffling the soft curls. hina and mark stand off to the side with their translators, the elder members of staff talking them though the recording.

 

“believe it, jeno-ya,” jaemin whispers, “because it’s happening.”

 

and in a flash, the lights dim and the cheers of the fans echo throughout the room.

 

beside him, he feels donghyuck move closer until their hands are clasped together. he shifts his gaze and sees the rest of his friends, those younger, those older, joined together by the union of their hands. jaemin feels warmth flood into his heart and he thinks, there’s no better feeling in the world than this.

 

* * *

 

a few weeks after mickey mouse club ends, jaemin is introduced to two new trainees- huang renjun and zhong chenle- from china.

 

like jeno, renjun is gentle and kind- reserved. renjun, despite being the eldest of their now quartet, has the smallest build and is often found looking very fondly at them from afar. but jaemin finds that though the elder (by a few months) is soft and sweet, he holds a flame that is so very close to igniting. he's easily irritated, if not for the fact that he shouts at donghyuck whenever he's too loud, or puts chenle in a chokehold when his jokes go a little too far. 

 

chenle is by far one of the happiest people jaemin has ever come to meet. the thirteen-year-old holds a laugh that resembles a dolphin and his eyes are constantly fitted into a crescent shape, lips turned upwards. he sings like an angel- jaemin finds- and has one of the best personalities. 

 

the night they're introduced, jaemin finds himself dreaming of a stage, lit up with a thousand green lights. he dreams of hearing their names chanted throughout stadiums and wishes- wants- to be able to debut with his newfound friends.

 

* * *

 

along the way, they become something like a family.

 

training is tough, jaemin finds. he can’t visit home, or call his parents. he can’t eat properly or sleep properly and the stress of both training and school studies drains him. he’s not been able to interact with the sr15g members, nor has he been able to talk to all the new trainees that came after, due to schedule disagreements. and it frustrates him. he can’t be himself and it makes it so much harder to breathe.

 

but, with the others, he manages. when he stumbles, jeno is there to pick him up. when his voice cracks, donghyuck is there with a water bottle. when he cries into his pillow in the dead of night, wanting to cower away from the mist of insecurity and homesickness, mark cradles him to sleep. when he stops eating because his braces hurt his mouth to the point of tears, renjun is there with a bowl of soup and medication. and, when he needs, just for a moment, to let go of all the responsibilities of being a trainee, chenle and jisung are there with enough stuffed toys to bury himself with, arguing in front of the tv about which new anime they should watch.

 

one day, when jaemin isn't feeling quite right and nothing the boys do cheers him up, they go to a park.

 

it's only a small park, one a few blocks away from their dorm. but the flowers are beginning to bloom and the cherry blossom trees highlight the skies in pink and jaemin- jaemin feels at home. a sense of nostalgia hits him, and he's reminded of the smell of fresh roses in the garden, of the way the colours painted the shop he worked at for a while. he's reminded of home- of the home he had before this one and he gets an idea.

 

a cherry blossom falls onto his palm and he spins to look at the others, smiling brightly. "let's plant a flower patch."

  

* * *

  

that night, they plant yellow and white roses in the small field adjoining the park. the flowers of friendship, innocence and new beginnings- jaemin thinks it fits them perfectly. they engrave words onto the wood of the trees they pass, writing wishes on the tree trunks and staring at them longingly, in the silent hope that their promise of a new beginning will be granted.

 

* * *

 

jaemin is sixteen when he feels his entire world stop in its axis.

 

it’s a late night in november, three months after their long-awaited debut, a few days after chenle’s birthday party. they’re practicing chewing gum on their hoverboards when jaemin feels pain pulse through his back. he curses internally, moving a hand to massage the small of his back, smiling when chenle passes him on his hoverboard.

 

 _not now,_ he thinks, _please not now._ it’s common knowledge to jaemin that when his back starts radiating pain he should probably rest, after years of speed-skating, but he’s adamant to sit out, not when mark promised they’d practice one more time before going out to eat. the kids had been so excited to finally eat out as seven; jaemin couldn’t ruin this.

 

jaemin winces when a particular move sends a spike of pain to his lower back. he breathes deeply, holding back his tears but, _god_ , it’s so _hard_ because this is the worst he’d felt in a while and no pain he’s felt before could ever compare to this. no amount of grueling practice, no amount of strict diets, no number of hours spent shedding blood, sweat and tears- nothing.

 

he forces a smile when the song finally ends, hunched over as exhaustion and pain fills his entire body. he flinches when he feels someone touch his back and gasps when he looks up to see renjun staring at him with a worried stare.

 

“jaemin-ah-” he begins, but jaemin’s already lost to the agony that clutches his backside, lips drawn and eyes closed.

 

he doesn’t hear renjun asking someone- probably chenle- to get some water, doesn’t feel the hands that flutter around his sweaty face. he doesn’t hear mark calling the manager or jisung asking what’s wrong, doesn’t feel jeno and donghyuck holding his hands tightly. he doesn’t feel his body shaking, feet slipping off his hoverboard as he slams hip-first onto the hard floor of their practice room.

 

* * *

 

they put him on indefinite hiatus and pull him from nct dream’s lineup.

 

after several nights spent in the hospital, jaemin is finally released, only to be sent back to sm for a meeting with the managers. the pain in his back is dull as he sits in the cold, empty room, staring dejectedly at the cup of water that sits in front of him.

 

they had told him to recover fast, or else the world would forget a na jaemin- would simply forget that nct dream debuted as seven, not six. and jaemin had argued, said he couldn’t control the rate at which he recovered, held back tears as he pleaded with them to not terminate his contract _because even if there were too many variables that could lead to his removal, he worked hard for this, hell, he gave up his childhood for this- there was no way they were getting rid of him and the kids-_

 

“-decided to put you on indefinite hiatus until you recover.”

 

jaemin almost cries in relief.

 

“but, if you don’t recover within a year or so, we’ll have to pull you out of project nct altogether and terminate your contract.”

 

it’s harsh, jaemin feels, but that’s business. if he doesn’t get better, he doesn’t stand a chance in the music industry. nobody wants a broken idol.

 

but jaemin- jaemin sits and he stares at his manager. his shoulders are high and his back is straight and his fists are curled into balls onto his lap. he squeezes his fists until he feels the crescent shapes imprinted into his skin.

 

“okay,” he whispers to himself, reassuring, “okay.”

 

he bows his head slightly, pinching his thighs when he feels tears build up in his eyes.

 

“i’ll work hard.”

 

* * *

 

he sees donghyuck almost a month later.

 

they don’t get to talk, however, because donghyuck’s being hussled into the practice room and jaemin himself is late for his doctor’s appointment.

 

it all goes a little bit too fast for jaemin. one moment, he’s being rushed by his manager, pushing his way through the one of the many crowded corridors of the sm buildings, and the next he’s frozen where he stands. he hears a familiar voice calling out their maknae’s name and when he turns, eyes wide and mouth parted open, he sees him.

 

donghyuck stands tall and proud beside his manager, who playfully pushes him into the practice room. there’s a moment where donghyuck turns to stick a tongue out at his manager when he catches jaemin’s eye. his eyes widen and he steps forwards, walking closer and closer until-

 

“jaemin, come on. we’re late.”

 

and jaemin’s body complies to his manager, letting the elder man drag him away. from the corner of his eye, he sees mark, joining donghyuck, who stares at him with a look that reflects sadness and _guilt_.

 

* * *

 

jaemin hasn’t seen or talked to his groupmates in months.

 

he’s been forbidden to do so by the company and, in return, nct are not allowed to talk of him in vlives, concerts, interviews or fansigns.

 

he stays with the rookies, in a dorm separate from the nct ones. there are seven of them in total- kun, jungwoo, yukhei, xiaojun, hendery, yangyang and himself. jaemin finds himself as the anointed guardian of the group, alongside kun.

 

(yangyang says it’s because they’re the only ones who can go into the kitchen without burning the whole dorm down. kun laughs at that and finds himself with a microwave on fire almost three days after. nevertheless, kun bans the younger trainees- bar jaemin- from ever entering the kitchen again.)

 

some days, jaemin finds himself daydreaming of the future. he thinks of rejoining nct with the six new trainees he’s learnt to love and care for. he thinks of performing with nct dream again, but this time with yangyang. he thinks of ‘thank-you’ speeches and crying and- _we made it, hyung!_

some days, jaemin finds himself wishing it would all end. like, when his back pulses pain throughout his entire body and nothing the others can do can soothe it. when his medication doesn’t work and he finds himself sitting hunched on jungwoo’s lap, tears in his eyes. when he’s forced to attend meetings and practices during his weakest moments.

 

some days, jaemin doesn’t really feel like a member of nct. like, when he watches nct dream perform without him, it seems right. as if they were meant to be six in the first place. vaguely, he hears the managers’ voices in his head. _the world would forget a na jaemin_ , he hears, _would simply forget that nct dream debuted as seven, not six._ and jaemin thinks that maybe- maybe, it would be best to terminate his contract and focus on his health instead of hoping for something that’ll never happen.

 

but, on most days, jaemin finds himself laughing loudly- satisfied, grateful. like, when kun makes him his favourite food after a long day. when yukhei tells him a joke so funny he laughs until no sound escapes his mouth, clingling onto yangyang’s shirt tightly as the younger chuckles in return. when he and the other rookies go out to eat, ordering as much food as they can and talking the night away.

 

most days, jaemin finds himself happy- content. like, when he watches all the support and love his group are receiving. when he gets to watch the new dream music videos before anyone else (but that’s only because the managers all have a not-so-secret soft spot for him). when he, after months of no talk, texts his groupmates a ‘well done’ and ‘congratulations’ and they text back almost a second later. when he gets to see his family win awards and soar higher than any star.

 

(most days, he pretends it doesn’t hurt as much as it does.)

 

* * *

 

on his birthday, he wakes up to yukhei singing loudly in his ear.

 

the ’99-liner is pressed snuggly against jaemin’s back, arms wrapped tightly yet carefully around jaemin’s waist. “happy birthday, our dear jaeminnie!” the elder sings in joy, cheekily pecking the birthday boy’s cheek. “come on, we prepared something for you!”

 

jaemin groans at the prospect of getting up, brushing yukhei’s worries away with a small grin when the elder asks if his back is acting up again. yukhei nods happily and skips out of the room, letting jaemin get ready for the day. from his room, jaemin can hear xiaojun complaining to yukhei about the noise, kun shouting at hendery to get out of the kitchen and jungwoo shouting (read: mumbling) for yangyang to wake up.

 

he smiles; it’s going to be a good day.

 

* * *

 

“-so, i was thinking we could spend the day out today.” kun smiles as he picks the plates up from off the table and rejects jaemin's offer to help. jaemin looks up at the elder, patting his stomach lightly- full. “since it’s your birthday, we could go visit the park you love so much but can never visit.”

 

jaemin’s eyes light up as he sits higher in his seat. “really?”

 

kun smiles softly at the younger’s glittering eyes, softly ruffling jaemin’s bed hair. “of course. we can go eat ice-cream and buy some flowers and just have fun today. it’s our only day off this week and you don’t have any appointments today. but, it is your birthday so it’s your call.”

 

“hyung,” jaemin smiles brightly, his first genuine smile in a while, “i would love to go to the park.”

 

(later, as kun washes the dishes with jungwoo by his side, he utters to the younger trainee that he very much loves a certain na jaemin’s smile.)

 

* * *

 

jaemin breathes in happily, taking in the laughter of the kids and the chirps of the birds that filters into his ears.

 

behind him, yangyang hangs from his back with an arm wrapped around jaemin’s shoulders. the younger is chatting happily to yukhei, who has ice-cream smeared across his cheek. xiaojun and hendery are messing with kun’s hair behind the elder’s back, acting innocent when he turns around to playfully glare at them. jungwoo reprimands them by smacking the back of their heads lightly, flashing a small, evil smile at them as they shiver.

 

as they pass the kids playground, jaemin spots a small huddle of children crouched in front of a little girl. the girl’s pigtails bounce as she draws into the ground with a small stick. once she’s done, she drops the stick and gives her friends the brightest smile, cheeks tinted pink and hands clapping. “look!” she exclaims happily, laughing when the others move forward and over each other to see what it says. “it says _\- ‘let’s be friends forever!’_ ”

 

a small pit of nostalgia builds in jaemin’s stomach and he stops in his track, watching as one of the other little girl’s traces her hands carefully along the written words. the smile on her face is priceless in the way that it is the most precious.

 

_“guys! jaemin-hyung! let’s write a wish here!”_

 

jaemin chokes on something like a cry, bringing his hand to his chest as he turns to look at the others, who stare at him with confused gazes.

 

_“here, write this: please, let us debut together.”_

 

“there’s somewhere i’d like to go.”

 

* * *

 

jaemin runs.

 

he runs as fast and as far as he can, stumbling over his feet as he ignores the calls from the boys that chase after him. he runs until his lungs and throat burn, legs aching. he runs until he reaches the small field adjoining the park. he jumps over the rusty old gate and turns, stopping in his tracks when he catches sight of the scene in front of him.

 

tears slip from jaemin’s eyes and slide down his cheeks, leaving a burning sensation on his skin as he stumbles forward. behind him, he can hear the footsteps of the other trainees, calling his name worriedly.

 

he breathes heavily as he spins in the meadow of fully bloomed yellow and white roses. it’s beautiful and ethereal and more than anything jaemin could ever have wished for.

 

he reminisces everything he’s been through as he staggers through the flowers. memories of being scouted and signing his contract, of meeting his hyungs for the very first time. he remembers finally stumbling across the trainees closer to his age- finally meeting mark and donghyuck and jeno and jisung. he remembers mickey mouse club, remembers singing and dancing and having fun with sr15g. he remembers meeting renjun and chenle for the first time, remembers all the nights spent practicing and talking about the future. he remembers his debut. remembers how the older, already-debuted members burst into their dorm at midnight with the other rookies. remembers crying at the prospect that everything he’s worked hard for has finally paid off.

 

and, more importantly, jaemin remembers planting flowers. he remembers that one afternoon pre-debut, stumbling upon the abandoned field and planting so many roses that they’d lost count. he remembers the wishes they made, remembers engraving them on trees.

 

and now, as he stares at the promises, a sob escapes his throat. the words are almost illegible- messy and scrawled on. the wishes overlap each other but the biggest one stands high and bold.

 

jaemin traces his shaky hands over the words, sniffing quietly.

 

behind him, he feels a hand press against his shoulder, squeezing tightly, and he turns quickly. pressing his face into jungwoo’s neck, jaemin cries freely, sobs muffled by the elder’s collar. he feels someone rub his back softly and hears footsteps approach slowly.

 

someone reads the words slowly and quietly, as if muttering to themselves. “please,” yangyang says, “let us debut together.”

 

another person moves forward and there’s a moment of silence before another body joins the huddle. xiaojun presses a hand against jaemin’s back and hugs tight, cooing at the younger. hendery brushes his hand against jaemin’s forehead and pulls yukhei into the hug. kun and yangyang glance at each other before joining too, pressing their bodies close to soothe the crying boy.

 

jaemin sniffs and looks up slightly from jungwoo’s neck. the tears aren’t stopping and his mouth won’t stop quivering but, as he stares at the words written on the tree, he lets out a choked laugh.

 

“please, let us debut together.” he reads quietly, “and please, let-”

 

he chokes, the words getting stuck in his throat. xiaojun rubs his back slowly- soothing, loving.

 

“please, let jaemin come back safe and happy.”

 

* * *

 

that night, jaemin logs onto the nct official twitter account for the first time since his hiatus.

 

he’s bombarded by a mass of notifications- happy birthday wishes for himself, messages telling him that they await his comeback. some of the notifications ask for other members and others ask who na jaemin is.

 

(he pretends it doesn’t hurt but finds that he doesn’t have to pretend because his members want him back and they want him back safe and happy and that’s all that really matters.)

 

he breathes in deeply and begins typing.

 

“hello everyone! it’s jaemin~!! thank you for the birthday wishes today *^.^* did you miss me a lot~? i miss you all too! i’m doing my best to receive treatment for my spine and counting the days until i can meet our fans~! nct dream is making a comeback with ‘we young’!! please give it lots of love, and i, jaemin, will also be cheering the members on and getting ready!~ it’s very hot these days, so don’t get sick and be careful of your health~ once again, thank you for congratulating me on my 18th birthday, and i love you a lot!!”

 

once he finishes his tweet, jaemin breathes out and sends the tweet, awaiting the mass of notifications that enter the nct official account mentions. he smiles at the birthday wishes and excited screaming replies that he receives.

 

before he switches his phone off, a messenger notification pops up and his heart halts when he sees the sender.

 

 **꾸리꾸리마끄리** **(mark-hyung)**

jaemin presses the notification with a deep breath, heart beating rapidly against his chest.

 

 **happy birthday jaemin-ah** , it reads, **it’s mark-hyung! we’re awaiting your comeback and hope you’re recovering well. the others wanted to message you so bad (jisung almost- _almost_ \- cried) but the managers have forbidden us to. i saw your tweet and i couldn’t take it anymore, so, happy birthday jaemin-ah! when you come back to the dorms (which will hopefully be soon), we have a surprise for you, so get well soon, brat! the dream dorm is falling apart without you.**

 

jaemin chuckles softly as he lays back on his pillow. a small smile graces his lips as he scrolls through the message.

 

**don’t tell the others i texted you or else they _will_ hurt me for not letting them talk to you to. i know you must miss them a lot so let me tell you this: the kids- they miss you like crazy. jisung keeps complaining about how nothing feels complete and renjun sneaks into your room when he thinks everyone’s sleeping. sometimes, i can hear jeno badgering his manager about having at least one phone call with you but i know he wants so much more than that. doyoung-hyung always moans that jeno talks about you too much. donghyuck complains endlessly. seriously. i can never hear the end of it. he talks as if you’re never coming back so prove him wrong, jaemin-ah! come back as soon as you can, okay? we love you so much. i love you so much. **

 

the message ends with an attachment and, when jaemin opens it, he lets out a watery laugh, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

 

it’s a picture of nct, all fourteen of them. they’re all huddled together, holding banners in their hands. behind them are golden ‘happy birthday, jaemin-ah’ balloons and, on the wall, are thousands of letters.

 

**the letters are all the things we’ve wanted to say to you since your hiatus.**

jaemin zooms in slowly, scanning the tiny font. from what he can see, yuta had written a lot of letters, along with jaehyun. however, most of them are from jisung. jaemin smiles; though jisung doesn’t like to show it to the public, jaemin knows that the younger loves him.

 

**the banners read, “wherever i am, even if i’m dreaming, to me, it’s only you.”**

jaemin feels his heart ache lovingly, clutching his phone close to his chest.

 

his hands shake as he types a reply.

 

**mark-hyung, thank you. thank you so much.**

* * *

 

the dorm is almost empty now, following the news that kun, jungwoo and yukhei are finally debuting. they’d received the news in november and promptly moved into the nct dorms a week later.

 

sometimes, jaemin finds himself feeling lonely without the three elder members. sometimes, he feels left out. but xiaojun, hendery and yangyang take care of him. they take him to his doctors’ appointments and take care of him when the pain returns. they learn to cook so that jaemin doesn’t have to do it for them and cuddle him when he feels lonely.

 

it’s a week into december when jaemin receives good news.

 

the doctors tell him that the treatments have worked and that all the waiting and suffering he’s been through can finally come to an end. they tell him that he can finally return to practice, can finally dance and record and participate in comebacks.

 

he rejoices as he bursts into the meeting room to talk to the head manager, smiling widely as the elder man stands.

 

“we will re-introduce you through the project nct 2018. as you know, trainees qian kun, kim jungwoo and wong yukhei will debut through this project. they are currently participating in practices.” the head manager smiles at him, combing through the paperwork that lies on his desk. “now, your groupmates don’t know you’re returning yet so, they’re in the practice room if you want to surprise them.”

 

he gestures towards the door and jaemin jumps up, bowing to the manager. he rushes towards the door, eager to start dancing again when he hears the elder man cough behind him. he spins around and cocks his head curiously to the head manager.

 

“welcome back, na jaemin.”

 

* * *

 

when jaemin approaches the practice room, he hears the familiar rhythm of ‘black-on-black’ echo throughout the corridors.

 

he opens the door slowly, letting the music fill his ears. inside, there is a mass of bodies dressed in black, dancing in unison as shoes drag across the floor, squeaking along with mark’s rap. he slides in steadily, putting his black mask on as he moves to stand against the wall. he watches the steady, graceful moves, imprinting them in his mind and imitating them where he stands.

 

when he looks up, he catches the eye of one of his hyung’s through the mirrors. they freeze and those around him notice, stopping in return. they turn to look at him slowly, the words ‘black on black’ resounding through the room.

 

the one standing at the front- jeno, jaemin guesses- takes his mask and cap off slowly. he squints, almost as if disbelieving the sight of the younger ’00 liner in front of him. jeno’s mouth widens as he gasps and jaemin watches as his name rolls off the other’s lips.

 

the music stops and there’s a moment of silence before jaemin feels the floor rumble from beneath him. he looks towards his groupmates- his family, his brothers, and smiles a watery smile, holding out his arms as they gather towards him.

 

“jaemin-ah!” he hears them cry, muffled through the hug that he’s buried in. the younger members cling to him as the elder ones give them space, smiling softly at the interaction.

 

jisung presses against his shirt tightly, his face buried in the elder’s chest as he murmurs his gratitude. chenle is hanging off his neck, screaming his cries of happiness through jaemin’s ears. renjun, jeno and donghyuck wrap themselves over jisung, squeezing their three youngest together as mark watches them fondly.

 

“i saw your wish.” jaemin whispers for only them to hear. “at the park with the roses. thank you.”

 

they look up at him- happy, content, fond, glad that their brother is back.

 

“do you know what the flowers mean?” jaemin asks, petting jisung’s head softly. “do you know why i wanted to plant them?”

 

chenle hums in return, burying his face in the back of jaemin’s neck. “what do they mean, hyung?”

jaemin reaches behind himself to ruffle chenle’s hair before motioning mark to join the hug. he catches sight of his hyungs, those that have debuted and those that have yet to debut and beams at them.

 

“yellow roses symbolize friendship and innocence,” he tells them, watching as the sunlight filters into the room through the blinds, resonating a feeling of warmth, comfort, _peace_. “and white roses symbolize new beginnings.”

 

“thank you for waiting for me,” he utters, closing his eyes and sinking into the feeling of being home at last.

 

“thank you for keeping your promise.”

* * *

 

(jaemin makes a promise to xiaojun, hendery and yangyang. before he moves out, he plants flowers in the trainee dorm- three for the brothers that will someday join them.

 

when he visits later on, on the road to his second ever comeback, he sees white roses in the windowsills and smiles softly to himself.

 

he’ll wait for them, he promises, just like his brothers did for him.)

**Author's Note:**

> [say hi!](https://twitter.com/jiskies)
> 
> shameless promo: [starry night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547030), [starlight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14592915)


End file.
